Waltertainment

Spider-Man (****)

starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten “I want more” Dunst
directed by Sam Raimi(Evil Dead series, A Simple Plan)

WALDO: Tobey Maguire- boring as usual but it works. This movie is all about the action.

WALLY: Kirsten dunst- looks good in wet shirt, nice nipplies.

WALDO: Story- very interesting, oddly villain was weakest point. Just kind of went mad and that’s it. But best thing about the story was the inner conflict. Parker is in love with best friend’s girl. Best friend’s dad is the nemesis. (spoiler warning) Spiderman kills his dad. Now best friend hates Peter’s alter ego. It’s great. And peter gets girl in the end, but can’t have her! (spoiler end) Very non-comic book story for comic book movie. This same story, done in a more dramatic way, say an English period piece, would drive away the crowds in droves. But put in fake looking but fun to watch action scenes built around an iconic superhero and wala! $114 million.

WALLY: Honestly, the FX looked fake but I didn’t care. It was just so fun to see Spidey jump and swing and all that shiznit around the city.

WALDO: Sam Raimi is a good director. He did the wonderfully campy Evil Dead series and the riveting A Simple Plan. You can tell a director is good when he’s good in different genres. He or she just gets movie moments and tone. The camerawork was very simple. Supposedly the action scenes borrowed camera work from sky diver camera men. One wonders if the Spider-Man trapeze fx will get old. After all, he just swings around and shoots webs.

WALLY: But maybe the new cool villains in the future will up the ante of the fx quotient. I mean Batman couldn’t do jack shit and they made 4 movies of that fool. And the DC villains aren’t nearly as cool as the Marvel villains.

WALDO: All stars are signed on for sequels so they’ll be back. Tobey supposed to get $4M for 1st movie then $10M for 2 sequels. When asked if he’d seek a renegotiation his agent replied ‘what do you think?’

WALLY: I think you’re a money grubbing weasel, Tobey. Or more accurately your agent is. But since you’re taking it from even richer money grubbing weasel’s then you, fuck it.

WALDO: Ok, now to the big race of the season. Star Wars v. Spider Man. Which is better? existence and then you run into people, things happen and you learn some great lesson about why you are the way you are that you’re not as happy as you could be. You see the light.